xLittle-Miss-Horrorx

Even though I plan to post here more again, I won't lie.... I just don't feel that same spark for Deviantart as I did years ago.... It's VERY hard to navigate, I have trouble editing descriptions to fix typos.

It just, anytime I log in now.... It feels very mentally draining, especially with the rise of AI art. God, I can't with that anymore.

I won't delete this account but I may be more active on Sheezy art and I'll still post here... But eh, Sheezy art really gives me memories of how DA used to be waaaay back then.

Like you guys should had seen how great DA used to be back then before Eclipse came along.

So hey guys, its been a long ass time.

Long story short, something happened with my other computer and macbook, where I literally had no computer access for a whole ass year.

The mini Laptop I had before, it charger snapped off, and we tried looking everywhere for a replacement charger. But let's say my mom got a very weird off brand where it was super tedious to find the replacement charger. Note to self to anyone with small deksopts, make sure you be careful when you charge because that shit will snap off.

But then a blessing happened two days ago! While I was closing up at work, I noticed my brother and nephew out there and told me they were going to pick me up. So, I was like "oh okay" and clocked out to go to the car. But while we walked, he brought up the topic of computers and it made me curious. Then I noticed that we were at my brother's apartment so I got confused since I thought he was taking me back home. Then my nephew got super excited and kept going "Hailey! We got a surprise for you!" and I was thinking "is this what I think it is?" So as we got inside, boom! A brand new computer, he went through a lot of savings to get me such a wonderful gift! <3 I wasn't really expecting this at all but I am happy as hell since I missed doing things, like playing games on steam, writing, and hell even drawing digital art!

This sure made me smile since I've been going through a lot of personal stuff lately regarding to my physical health and of course I'm worried about my current job not being able to provide health insurance. (I won't get too deep since its personal) but this may help me cope with the bullshit I had to endure the last few weeks. Which is a bummer because I really wanted to use this month to go to this horror movie con with my brother, but due to the news regarding to my physical health, I have to cancel those plans to resolve that issue first.

Also for those I added on Discord, I am sooo sorry for being quiet. Again, work was a pain in my ass but I'm just going through a lot of personal stuff right now. I'll be able to chat again since I miss some of you guys.

I'm a bit skeptical about posting my newer art here due to that whole situation with NFTs and how its now hard to navigate on DA these days.

Anyways I got two current fandom hyper fixations atm:

- Helluva Boss/Hazbin Hotel (Ozzie got me so hard <3333 Lust demon and his bf are adorbs, prepare for some self shipping in a polyamorous style.

- Cuphead (Got me back crushing on the Devil <333 My agnostic ass can't help to fall for demonic men XDD First Asmodeus and now this show resparked my crush on the devil again)

- Villainous (Mainly I'm going to write a very toxic relationship involving one of Hater and Myrna's daughters with Black Hat and how she goes on a journey to self love/discovery)

- My original projects I'm working on

But main highlight

Okay so I kept quiet about this for a long ass time. In fact, this all actually occurred since the Summer of 2020. So you guys know my friend MrCrazyInstinct right? So, two summers ago, me and him were trying to recover broken hearts (me getting lead on and his toxic ex) and had talks about meeting other people. I was just basically being casual with a friend of mine while he was trying to work things out with another girl. Of course, nothing came out of those relationships and I tried to get into tinder but idk nothing vibed with me. We always expressed our ideal partners. Part of me was thinking about possibly dating other goths since I felt a bit uncomfortable dating regular people. (men who fetishize goth women especially)

But then I kept having reoccurring thoughts about Brandon... Like what if scenarios. Like what if me and him started dating and becoming more than friends. Though I thought it was silly thinking so I kept shrugging these thoughts off. I remembered feeling off and a bit down when a friend in a discord call always joked about us being a couple, but we were all "Oh no gross were just friends." and he mentioned I'm not his type... So for some reason, I felt a bit sad when he said that but I never knew why.

Then we got into one of the biggest heated arguments when texting each other on discord, and of course we had to let each other cool off. But then he gave me a long ass message how he couldn't take it anymore and needed to tell me the truth. The truth being, he's been getting romantic feelings for me but didn't want to make a scene about it and told me, if I didn't feel the same way, he would understand and just wants to value our friendship. But I had told him "Really??? I've been having thoughts about what it be like if we started dating." But I didn't immediately say yes, I told him I'm gonna have two weeks to think about it and make sure my feelings are actually serious.

And during those two weeks, I thought more and more about it. I felt excited and giggly as a school girl, but wasn't sure if these were legit romantic. But I had remembered the times we had together and been there hell and back throughout the years. I had thought about many men in my life that come and go, but he was one guy I knew aside from my first bf that was very interested in my interests and we had deep talks about conversations. Most of the time I talk to men I had semi interest in, it felt so one sided and they didn't seem to care much for my passions and art. But he always gave that for me and provided me the best shoulder to cry on. There were times we would accidently call other's by each other's name and it made me wonder if this is how much we thought about another. Hell, we always had the most calls together aside from anyone else. I started to feel warm with the thought and acted a bit flustered when he texted me... I haven't felt this for someone in such a long ass time.

And you can say since that day, we've been together for almost 2 years now. We just feel safer to open about it now. I basically gave up my casual relationship to be serious with this man! Sure its long distance but we plan to visit someday. I'm so happy my family accepted this since I also kept this a secret from there since I was scared they would jump into conclusions about him.

It's funny really, when I used to watch his videos in his Conkeronine days, a lot of girls had crushes on him (even a few friends of ours that grew up with his videos) but I was more like "eh he's just a cool dude that likes retro stuff. Not hot, but I wouldn't mind seeing him like another bro to poke fun at and hangout with) to actually seeing him more than just a geeky ranter. He's no way a bad person, he just made carless mistakes. (Also FUCK YOU JUNKIE FOR LYING ABOUT HIM BEING A DICK TO YOU IN CALLS. IM GLAD JAR AND OTHERS CANNED YOUR ASS )

Though if I can be honest, I prefer the real him over his Conkeronine persona, I got ton know him much better and I'm thankful for that <3

If your reading this Brandon, I never regret saying yes. I know we talk almost everyday but you are the Sun to my Moon <3 My flaming demon from hell that brings the sun to my darkness :heart:

But yes, that's what's been up with me these days.

First of all, I just want to say a late season greetings and a happy New Year's (even though its not until 4 days) and I hope better things come out for next year.

I won't lie, I REALLY cannot deal with DA's new layout changes with Eclipse since its a bit hard to navigate.>___> But that's not why I was absent, the main reason is because the keyboard decided to break down on me. Meaning, while some parts work, almost most of the letters on the keys stopped working, so it was a pain in the ass to type or communicate with others.

I could had used the DA app But eh.... I don't like how it navigates and my phone couldn't hold much storage.

Thankfully, my mother got me a new laptop for Christmas so I can finally type again. Downside, its pretty small so it can be tricky to type on a small keyboard (as I'm typing right now with it) I may still use my macbook for other things since my brother is still gonna replace the keyboard. But I can finally job search with a new computer with a working keyboard.

Not gonna lie, 2020 was a hell of a year and so many horrible shit happened. Of course not only the pandemic and the systematic racism (can't believe police force still has this racism issue to this day), and the drama of the 2020 election, but let's say a lot of personal things happened that it nearly killed my motivation for a lot of things. This pandemic didn't make it any better since it ruined my plans to move forward and made me lose a job opportunity.

I don't want to go further to details since its personal, but I hope I can find ways to make plans of moving out this year.

Hopefully, I can really put my focus to find a suitable job to work around the pandemic and I had been talking to an IRL friend of mine of making plans to be room mates and moving out. I also hope I'll finally be able to make videos again in the future on my YT channel.

It was a rough year, but I do thank :iconmrcrazyinstinct: remaining by my side as well as our other friends since they really helped me keep my sanity for this year.

I do have new art, but most of it are just wips and doodles, I didn't really do much this year since its been a shit show.

Also I may not stay on DA forever since I'm planning to leave this place once Art Spacious comes out and I still have places like twitter and IG to share art. (I need to upload more over there again as we speak)

I've been active on other sites but eh, I would prefer if friends or mutuals dm me on notes on these places to interact with me since I've gain a lot of trust issues with random people since drama had happened with certain people me and Brandon and our other friends thought we could trust.

Nothing personal, I just rather contact close friends and mutuals than giving out my personal social media accounts to the public.

So yeah, just letting you know I'm not dead. Old computer's keyboard was just a bitch and that's why I haven't commented or reply to messages.